“When someone is rude and toxic, remember it’s not about you. It’s a reflection of their inner state.”

♥

Dating channel: Plenty of Fish Website

Well, I don’t even know where to even begin, I just went on a truly crappy date, with a truly crappy person.

Alias: The Common Roach Fish

Backstory: So, I’d been chatting to the Common Roach on POF for a little while and I considered him a wildcard anyway because he had the whole cocky and arrogant, I love myself attitude, which guys either pull off perfectly and it’s charming and funny like Ryan Reynolds, or they’re just a dick. But this guy seemed really keen, and the more we talked, the more we seemed to have the same philosophy on dating, so after probably the eighth time he asked to meet me, (this will be important later so remember it) I finally agreed. He was a 20 minute drive away from me and said he didn’t mind driving all the way to me, (again remember this) so we arranged to go for a meal. In the meantime, he’d asked for my facebook and Instagram details, but until I’d met him and made a decision as to whether or not I wanted him around, I didn’t want to share that much of my life with him.

The Date: The moment I met him on the street corner, I thought crap he was very short. Now hear me out, there’s nothing wrong with a short bloke, but when they’re the same size as you (and you’re 5ft) it’s not attractive. About 5 minutes into the walk I think crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, because not only did he insult my outfit, “what’s with the witchy skirt you’re wearing?” he made a discriminatory comment about someone we passed, and took the mick out of several others, thinking he was being clever and impressive. We hadn’t even sat down to dinner, and I already hated him, but as I’ve said before, I’m a brilliant actress, and besides, I was hungry and he thought my name was Amy Bobby-Brown, so I had nothing to lose.

Boy, was I wrong, from the moment we entered the restaurant he did nothing but complain about everything:

“It’s really busy in here!”

“Where’s the waitress, do I have to go up there myself?”

“That pomegranate juice taste like cucumber, it’s disgusting!”

“It’s very loud in here isn’t it?!”

“I’m so tired, I can’t even be bothered to pick, I’ll just have the burger!”

“I don’t like the decor in here!”

“The foods taking a while isn’t it?!”

“It’s really cold in here.”

“You got enough mayonnaise on there?!”

“That burger was horrible, I thought I was really hungry, but I think I was just thirsty, and I thought I couldn’t go wrong with a burger, but I think that was just a terrible burger! “

Turns out, I had a lot to lose, the main one being time, precious time I’d never get back, time that honestly would have been better spent scrubbing a toilet, than sitting opposite that whiny cockroach. What made his constant whining worse was his accent, it was a real slow drawl that made him sound simple, and if his attitude and chat were anything to go off, he was very simple. In between the complaining, he flooded me with questions, I felt like I was in an interview, and the questions he asked were very strange, for example: “you know on your text you said ‘dad’, what did you mean by that?” I’m pretty sure the answer is in the question.

Now as if all that wasn’t bad enough, he constantly tried to pressure me and make me feel guilty. When we first sat down he asked what I was drinking and when I replied water, he repeatedly asked me why I wasn’t drinking (to keep my wits about me) I felt I had to lie and say I was driving. He wasn’t happy that I wasn’t drinking alcohol and went on to ask what I normally drank on dates, and why I wasn’t drinking it now. He then went on to say, “so I’ve driven all the way here for a half an hour meal?!” I asked him what he was expecting as that’s what we had arranged, he acted as if it would be mad of him to drive all this way just for a meal. By this point he made me feel so uncomfortable and guilty that I agreed to have another drink after the meal, but when I reminded him that it would still be non alcoholic he said, “well we might as well not bother, I suppose I can have a walk around, or go on the climbing wall, so it’s not a wasted trip!” 

Needless to say, I was relieved when he relinquished me from our after meal drink, and as it was clear from both sides that it was a total disaster, I hoped I’d never hear from him again. And seen as any sane person would say that he was the awful one, I was vey surprised to receive this message from him later.

But of course, this is a clearly insane Common Roach I’m talking to, and of course, he had more moaning to do.

Side note: I had a sickness in the family and had to take a phone call to do with it during our meal, I’d apologized for it and afterward had had to return a text about it to, which I also apologized for and explained. Not to mention, like it or not, we are living in an age where having your phone out on the table and picking it up constantly is the norm and I sent ONE text.

My reply: I had a family emergency, I told you that.

CR: Not the phone call the texting!

R: Oh that ONE text that followed which was for the same reason?

CR: You texted twice (on reflection, I should have just stopped replying, but it really irritated me that his biggest problem was not a problem at all, and he was blaming the bad date on me.)

R: Christ, TWO texts in regards to a sickness in the family, which I had apologised and explained to you, someone shoot me, I’m the worst!!

CR: I 100% agree.  (Talk about overreacting.)

He then went on to call me names, and when I ignored him and blocked him on WhatsApp, he continued to insult me via text, so I had to block all calls and texts from his number.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why I’m getting out of the water for a while.

Catch ya later,

Ren.